Don't Forget to take your blade guards off.

Cutie had her first set of stitches. We were at Synchro practice and late as usual. Getting there by 4pm on a weeknight is close to impossible. We put her skates on and I wanted to take the blade guards off. She wanted to protect her skates while walking to the rink. Slammed right on her chin. First we went to Emergency care down the road. They don't do stitches. Then we went to Nyack hospital. It was a very pleasant hospital experience. In and out in 30 min with 8 chin stitches later.
I however almost fainted when they injected Novocaine into the split skin.
She was a trooper.

Snow Storm Oc. 2011, Pep Rally, and

On October 29, 2011 we went to Doug's Bar Mitzvah. At 1pm it started snowing. I said goodbye to Kathryn, mazal to Doug and we headed home. It was a rosh chodash hatorah.

At 2pm trees fell on our electrical wires. Even after we hired the tree guys this past summer and had Orange and Rockland cut limbs down, the limbs still fell. The electrical wires that were attached to our house were pulled out.

After 24 hours and 2 feet of snow, Cutie and I moved to David's house. Paulo thought it was fun living with no electricity or water (we are on a well). I commuted to my new job from Westchester. For the weekend we went to My mom's on LI. On Sunday, Paulo said he got a generator and figured out how to connect it to the well.

We moved home. Boy is the generator loud.

On Sat night we had Team Image Pep Rally. All the Syncronized Ice Skating Teams performed.

As for my job, it's perfect. I pick Cutie up at 4:30 a few miles away. Even though they now have Math groups, I still think it's too easy.

Where do We go from here?

Frank Lloyd Wright and Dad

Last week cutie and I went to Kentuck Knob and Fallingwater. We took Amtrak from Penn station, rented a car and stayed in the Comfort Inn hotel in Greensburg (with pool). The train ride was great. Cutie read several Captain Underpants books and we needed to buy another book at B&N for the ride home. B&N in Greensburg is hoping on a Friday night. We stopped at a market that was making apple cider with a hand crank.

I start my new job on Monday. It's a job my father got me to keep Cutie in Hebrew Day School. Let me explain. Last year I was concerned with the Math curriculum. Last year before 1st grade she tested at second and half grade level and tested at the end of the year at second and three-quarter grade level. Needle didn't move. I went ballistic. They fixed it by giving her more advanced work. Next I was concerned that I would not have funds to pay for school this year if I didn't get a job. (Paulo wants her to go to public school). I sent a proposal to do the tourism identity for Peekskill and didn't get it.

I was posting on craigslist and came across this cryptic help wanted ad. I applied, they called. I still wasn't sure if it was legit, but went anyway. When I go the building it reminded me of my dad's office in Brooklyn when he had his Monica Simone Cosmetic company. Manufacturing in the back and corporate offices in the front.
It's a security seal company. They will work with my schedule. And since the school started having homework club so the day ends late, I can pick Cutie up M-Th at the end of the day and go straight to ice skating or piano or whatever. And the office is 5 minutes from her school.
I think this was divine intervention. BTW the CEO of the company is a Frank fan with the only piece of artwork on his wall the color pencil photo from Frank.

I start Monday.

More on Ice Skating

Cutie wasn't selected as Sam's ice dancing partner. But she starts ice dancing lessons with Susan. We have to shlep to WSA.

She passed FS3 yesterday but needs to practice her back spin. In fact everyone does. I start a new gig on Monday. I'm nervous for the first time in my working life. Maybe I'll start ice skating.

Gilad Shalit was freed yesterday in a 1 for 1000 prisoner exchange. It's worth mentioning.

Ice Dancing and the Market

Cutie turned 7 last week. She was tapped by her coach to try ice dancing. Last week she had a tryout with a boy who was looking for a partner. She tried it and had the most joyful expression on her face. Helene and I watched in amazement. She came off the ice and looked slightly embarrased when asked if she liked it. Several days later unaided she said she wants to do ice dancing and if she skated like she does now, she would definately make the Skyliner syncro team. This is her time. I now know how she will act when she meets a boy she wants to marry. I hope she gets picked to be his partner.

Cutie now has hair growing on her legs. She's getting older. I haven't had a period in many months. I weigh the same, but the body is not looking that great. I'm past the age anyone would look at me in a bathing suit. I'm getting older too. I'm not 100% ready to come to terms with it. Whatever.

Also, I will be starting a new job in a few weeks. It's local and in a new industry for me. Security Seals. It's now time to invest in the market.

Happy Rosh Hashana

Cutie is playing piano.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CH1cglpukBE

Ice Skating is going well. She's in Freestyle 3. Her coach suggested she tryout for ice dancing because she remembers steps and her footwork is so fluid. She knows a boy looking for a partner. Aliza was unsure because she wants to do synchro. I told her she can do both. Then she said to me if she could only tryout for Skyliners now, she would make the team.

She also wants to do a real competition. The definition of a real competition is one where not everyone gets a medal. She doesn't mind coming in 3rd if there are 12 competitors. But getting the bronze with 3 competitors insults her intelligence.

Her birthday is coming up in a few weeks. Cutie is turning seven.

9-11

It's the 10 anniversary of 9-11. So much has happened in these years. We've grown up as a nation. We no longer take things for granted. I believe that things happen at a specific time for a group and personal growth experience. I believe I would not have met Paulo and had Aliza if not for 9-11.
That experience grounded me. The market was closed and I saw a double rainbow with my brother and family on Fire Island on Friday evening. Yes, the market would tank, but it would be OK. One month after 9-11 the truth came out about Enron. I met Paulo on Dec 15. Paulo is probably the only person who I could have married in the entire world. It was 9-11 when I realized I was selfish. I am also kind and caring - and selfish. Paulo is also selfish. I believe we meet people who we need to meet in order to grow. It's all about moving the world needle

Paulo is also a person who does not show emotion. Things happen - that's just the way it is. When his father died this past May, everything was so matter of fact. Henry was 93 and couldn't eat or shit by himself. One weekend, he just stopped taking medicine. He had already lived to see 3 great grandchildren. He died a few days later.

Today, I am thinking of grandma Ida. She lived near the world trade center on Fulton Street. She died a few years before that day. She would not have handled it well. I have photos from her terrace on the 17th floor with a view of the Brooklyn bridge and east river. I will post one day.


My boss saw people falling from the towers. He got out of town.

Snot is not my friend.

I always want to write down Cutieism and usually forget. I found a sheet dated 1/22/09 when she was 4.
Pink is Magic
You can skip that part
It's a love
Snot is not my friend
Love is the best ever
Love is perfect.
Snot is not my friend so I eat it.

What I like about you.

Mom, you always believe in me. - Aliza 8/7/11.

My Mom and Dad

We spent Sunday at my brother's house. Mom was there and it looked like she lost weight. She's around 72 now and she looks like my grandmother did at 72. Her legs got thin but her belly is large.

I'm going to Shul on Saturday to say kaddish for my dad who died in the late 1980's. He died of either a heart attack, aneurysm or because all the stars were aligned. His children were on their paths to adulthood and he was proud of us. He taught us well.

Life's Work

Before Amy Winehouse died she was on stage with her protege, Dionne Bromfield. Lady Gaga was at the top of her game and she's now inspiring new talent as either a mention in an interview - Maria or on American Idol or Do you Think You Can Dance. Angelina Jolie starts having children. The common thread is starting a new chapter.

My top was when I met Paulo. It really was the highest level I was ever going to achieve in advertising and business. There were too many gaps in my education and upbringing to get me to the next level. My next chapter was Cutie.

She's perfect. Smart, funny, caring, nice, lovely. Whatever she does, she does well. My life's work is now molding her into the person she will become. It scares me and excites me. I fear I will make mistakes (like posting a video she doesn't think is her at her best.) or making her the child at school with the "tiger mom." If she can do something why should I hold her back?

I'm laying the groundwork for the teen years. To be the best you can be you need a passion.

Turning 49

I'm a few months away from my 49th b-day. So let me tell you the changes you will experience over your life.

At 12 and a month or so, you will get your period.
At 16 you may have terrible cramps.
When you have cramps, focus passed them. I always did better on tests when I had cramps.

You will have a great body if you exercise and eat right until 45. It will easily get back to normal after pregnancy if you are happy and act like you did before pg. You body will starts going downhill after 45 or when you move to the burbs. You still look OK in clothes, but not so great without. The scale says the same thing it did at 25 - but you start losing muscle tone and there's nothing you can do about it. Just stay as healthy and happy as you can. I hope you keep ice skating.

Before I had you at 41 and 363 days, I was on a strict diet. Leafy greens, vegys, fruits, organic, whole grains, everything fresh and homemade by me. No animal products for 2 weeks and slowly introduce a few eggs a week and up to 4 oz of cheese. No sugar or chemicals at all.
My pregnancy was easy and perfect. I walked 3-6 miles a day and ate healthy. The first 3 months I was very tired. But in my 2nd trimester I was roller blading to work. I did special exercises to help with delivery. I refused to step on the scale at the Doctors office and was told not to come back (6 months) and found a Midwife. 6 weeks before your due date I started drinking Red Raspberry leaf tea. I didn't want you to weigh more than 7 pounds because I wanted to deliver you without drugs or a needle in my arm. I wanted it to be totally natural unless there was an emergency. I gained about 23 pounds. My water broke at 4am when I turned on my side. Water was coming out of me for a long time. I sat on the toilet for a while, then took a shower while waiting for contractions to start. you have 24 hours before you need to be in the hospital and I was afraid they would give me something to start the contractions. At 8 am I told dad that it was time to call the Midwife. I met her at the hospital at 9:30. The contractions were manageable. They reminded me of bad period cramps for a minute or so. I was in a birthing room at the hospital - no catheter - on a hot tub that helped with the labor pains. At 12:30 The Midwife pulled me out of the hot tub and I lied down on the bed. That's when the pain starts. I wasn't allowed to push even though I wanted to. You were coming out fine - but my cervix was flipped over. They had to put you back in and then position you correctly before I was allowed to push. My birth plan had no episiotomy, but I was saying it was OK to do one now. Just then you crowned. I didn't need one. You came out at 1:55pm at 6.15 lbs. and were perfect.
I didn't even need stitches. I was perfect too.

Before I had you at 41 and 363 days, may period was starting to get irregular. I still got pregnant with you and even got pregnant after you were born. Unfortunately, I miscarried at 2 months. In fact, I miscarried at 40, got pregnant with you at 41 and miscarried again at 43. The first miscarriage I handled wrong. I had the OBGYN do a D&C. The second time I m/c I let it expell from my naturally. It was bloody and the size of a date. It felt just like the labor pains I had when I had you.

About your period. There are two types of periods. One when you ovulate and another I call estrogen bleeding. Ovulating is good. An egg is released and your body produces progesterone.

I've been tracking my cycles since I wanted to have you. Now at 48, I haven't ovulated in about a year. The last time I had estrogen bleeding was about 6 months ago.

More later.
Mom

Groups of People

One of the reasons I didn't like growing up Orthodox was the insular nature of the group. Everyone went to the same schools, camps, trips, hotels, bathroom and were only friends with said people.
So I went Conservative -- thinking they would be different. Nope. Same insular nature except women and do what men can do. That's no small statement - but still.
The way I see it there are two types of Jews in the world. Those who stay within and do what the group sanctions and those who venture out. There are two types of wanderers; those who are Jewish proud and act as ambassadors and those who would prefer xmas.
I respect the ambassador.

I hope Cutie, when you read this, you will understand why I made the choices I did.

First Half of Summer the movie

Cutie the first half of summer at 6yo. I should have done this last year.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgDpe7F_-J4

Summer 2011

What a glorious summer. Cutie started town camp and loves it. It's important to send your child to camp where they don't know anyone.

Cutie is on Clarkstown Swim Team. Since this blog is really for her. I will list her times in the 6 and under category.
Wed 7/8/11
25 Free - 31.90 (Came in 6th)
25 Breast - DQ - Hands below hip line. (8 of 9 DQ) - I don't think they told them how to do Breast stroke.
Wed 7/13/11
25 Free - 27.62 (Came in 3rd)
25 Back - 31.90 (came in 4th)
100 IM - DQ Fly - Alternating Kick (4 out of 5 were DQ). I just can't believe she did as well as she did.

Sometimes the burbs are better

Cutie is in town camp. $1000 for 6 weeks from 8:30-5:30 with early pickup and dropoff option. They sent home a flyer for the annual June 30th Concert & Fireworks display. She said some of her friends were going.

It looked interesting. Inflatable bouncers, Rockland County Radio Control Club Flying Demo, Skydivers and music by The 1910 Fruitgum Company. We loved it. If this was central park, NYC it would be crowded and awful. It was well attended and roomy. Parked 1 block away.

The politician were out in full force. Handing out ice pops and glow necklaces.

5 minute wait for the bouncy things, comfortable spot for the concert as blankets were spread out nicely, were on the football field for the flying demo and skydivers. The children were so excited with the skydivers landed. They ran over to play with the parashoot. Everyone got great seats on the bleachers to watch the fireworks.

I don't think I'll ever go to a concert in Central Park Again. This is the place to be. Let's keep it a secret.

Historic

Yesterday, New York became the 6th state to allow same sex couples to marry. Mazel Tov.

Super Busy Month

We had our first Team Image practice, Cutie passed Free Style 1, 1st grade writers cafe which was brilliant, class trip to Museum Village. And today the town pool opens.

I'm not sure what was most exciting.
I'll post videos as soon as I figure out out how to convert from phone to web.

Elena Kagan and the Siddur Ceremony

Elena Kagan is an Associate Justice on the Supreme Court of the United States. She was born and raised in NYC, attended Princeton, Oxford and Harvard Law. She grew up Orthodox on the UWS and was a member of Lincoln Square Synagogue. For her Bat Mitzvah she wanted to read from the torah. A girl is not permitted to read from the torah in Orthodox circles. Rabbi Shlomo Riskin, who went on to found the city of Efrat in Israel had her read from the Book of Ruth on Friday night, 5/18/73. Today she identifies with Conservative Judism.

About a month ago when they were preparing for the ceremony, Cutie came home and said her teacher said that girls could not be Ariot or the Siddur in the play. I didn't think anything of it at the time, just brushed it off as a misunderstanding. I am sending her to an egalitarian Hebrew School so I won't have to worry about her being a second class citizen.

At the ceremony last week, there were many children who were Ariot and the Siddur and not one was a girl. Could it be that the teacher discriminated against girls? Did this school that identified with Conservative Judism realize that the brilliant (she really is a great teacher) first grade teacher for the past 30 years had a sexist bias? So I called some parents with children in older grades. It is true - no one I spoke with remembers a girl in the leading roles during the Siddur Ceremony.

I spoke with the Head of School. This will be the last time girls won't be allowed to be Ariot. I can't wait for Elena's autobiography to be written. How much as it parental influence and how much was it the feminist movement in the media. BTW - We don't really have kind of feminist agenda that I ascribe to. I don't believe in equal pay for equal work. I do believe in equal pay for the same work.

Mother's Day

Mothers are starting to hate me. I posted a picture of a tiger mom on my FB page.

I believe that moms are responsible for nut allergies in kids. If you don't expose your baby to nuts early, they are going to develop an allergy. Moms who eat nuts when pregant, have nuts around the house, probably won't have a child who's allergic.

I believe that moms who feed their children food designed for children (chicken nuggets ...) are practicing a form of child abuse.

I believe that children are fat because they are bored and have nothing better to do than eat junk. If a child is having fun, running around, keeping busy, doing something they love doing, they will never say they are hungry. It they are not busy, it's mom's fault.

Then the mothers tell me - well, you only have one. I don't think if cutie had a sibling it would be that much different. I still wouldn't serve chicken nuggets.

They each would have activities they enjoy. They would keep each other busy. It would actually be easier.

Cutie's favorite foods are things like potato leek soup, stuffed green peppers, salad pizza. Yes she eats ice cream - but doesn't do birthday cake. She likes four bean salad, quinoa burgers, and stirfry. Yes, I developed her palette in utero.





Moms hate me. Even my mom can't wait to get off the phone with me. In the end I'll be proven right.


Until then.

Royal Wedding

I've been thinking about when I realized that feminist movement ended.
I was just 18 during the summer of 1981. I worked as an intern for ERAmerica in Washington, DC. ERAmerica was a coalition to extend the deadline for states to ratify the Equal Rights Amendment.
Text:
Section 1. Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.
Section 2. The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.
Section 3. This amendment shall take effect two years after the date of ratification.

Two other important things happened the summer Ronald Reagan was President.
1. Princess Diana got married
2. Sandra Day O'Connor was appointed to the Supreme Court to replace Potter Stewart.

I was one of those 18yo girls who didn't have "getting married" on my mind. I was still a virgin and planned to stay that way until I met the right one. After a few weeks a ERAmerica, I found a boyfriend on the District of Columbia law clerks softball team I managed to infiltrate. The women in the office were amazed. And then there was Diana's wedding. I didn't watch, thought the dress and pomp were silly. Yet the women in the office were salivating.

When it came to Sandra Day O'Connor appointment, they were all trying to figure out where she stood on issues. I called the Arizona State Senate and spoke to her Admin. Reading between the Admin's lines, I concluded that Sandra was indeed for a woman's right to choose. That was the only issue I cared about. Making sure the government didn't have control of what I did. I couldn't rally around .59 on a dollar for similar work. If a woman wanted to be a sanitation worker and lift cans as heavy as a man - yes, they should get paid the same. But if they sat in the office and picked up the phone receiver - no.

Looking back I now realize that at that moment feminism was over. Now most women (including me) are taking the easy way out. Their daughters are protected while their sons are taught to swim. They sign up boys for t-ball and girls for arts & crafts. It's no wonder boys are better in sports than girls.

I'm not raising my daughter that way. But it's hard when everyone else sees boys and girls. Even the books they are given to read have boy and girl roles.

In a way this all can be good for Cutie. She will be the smart and strong girl among a lot of mediocrity.

And now it's another royal wedding of William and Kate. And no, I'm not waking at 4am to watch it. Well, maybe on you tube.

Too Young, Too Old, What's a Girl to Do?

This was a trying month. I'm working close to full time. Cutie was off from school for Passover (almost 2 weeks). Tryouts for Synchronized Skating teams were 4 weeks apart. She easily made one team. The one closest to home (15 mins away). The other team was 45 minutes away. That team only took girls 8-9 and thought 6 was too young for the team.
Cutie was heartbroken. She like skating because it was how good you are - not your age.

I'm too old for an advertising gig. She's too young for a team gig.

Cutie rode a bike completely by herself this month. I'm on rollarblades and she's on the bike as we go around the lake path.

Seder at Adam's was great this year. All the children are old enough to really participate. Cutie is reading hebrew beautifully. Even mom was impressed.

Outstanding Progress

Just got Cutie's Report card. There are 4 categories:

Improvement needed, Progressing, Satisfactory progess, Outstanding progress. Nobody gets outstanding progress. I want to know why if nobody gets it, why it's a category. I like grades that mean something.



I'm really working. Went down to Cleveland last week. Wrote a creative brief. The usually stuff. I like after school activities that start after 6. She started taking piano at the Rockland Conservatory of Music. It's a pain driving her. Next year we will find someone who comes to the house.

Geraldine Ferraro died this morning.

In 1982 I went to work as a Congressional intern for Gerry. I was a naive 19 year old with ideas that I could change the world. There's only a few things I remember from the internship. I remember placing a potential bill in the hopper. The bill was to exclude perfume samples from import taxes. Another was the brilliance of the Library of Congress. It was before the internet and B&N on every corner. I remember needing a hamantashin recipe and the LOC sent a few to me.

When she was selected as Mondale's running mate, I wrote an Op-ed piece in Newsday. It ran on Monday, July 23, 1984 in the As I See It column. I managed to find the yellowed and brittle newspaper piece.
http://www.fefferoo.com/newsday-ferraro.jpg

Tight Schedule

Cutie is off to Synchronized Ice Skating tryouts. One team wins everything. That team is 45mins away. The other is in it for the fun and only 20 minutes away.

She's wants to be on both teams. One to win and the other to have fun.

I, on the other hand, just started working in advertising again - with road trips.

What's a mom to do?

Being Pretty

Today I used the last drop of my La Prairie Skin Caviar Luxe Cream. It was a gift from when I worked on the La Prairie account 4 years ago. Tomorrow I get to crack open Avon. It will not make a bit of difference. But I can dream (or live through cutie)

Cutie is doing very well. We are in the midst of trying out for an ice skating synchro team. She doing a great job at the clinics. Something is a little off. Everyone is tense because even if you are already on the team you must try out again. Few members from the Intro class are attending. The one who are there are not really ready. Cutie is ready. And is doing quite well with drills she's never seen before. I'm wondering where the other girls who can skate are. Either they dropped out or maybe they have the right coach or know something I don't. I'm a little stressed out.

Cutie had her first encounter with boys. She and her very blond and fun friend were skating at the local rink. Two 8-10 yo boys came over to play with them. One boy was tall and a little nerdy. The other you could tell was going to be in the gorgeous category when he gets older. I could tell they came over to because of Cutie's friend. After Blondie left, they continued to play with Cutie. When the boys were leaving they asked me when do we skate. In the car, Cutie told me that one of the boys thought she was cute and she was embarrassed by this.

See why I named her cutie!

Secret Little System

Cutie has a secret little system on how to read while playing computer game. Multi-tasking is no longer for grown-ups only!

What We Learned

Cutie's first ice skating competition was last week. She looked great squeezing in all the required elements and doing other's she wasn't allowed to do. Grandma came and watched her Skyliners Intro to Synchro team prior to her competing in B6. She came in third because of all the higher level elements that were mandatory deductions. We learned that you have to play by the rules in order to win. We also now know her style is ballet.

Next stop is the exhibition at Bear Mountain in a few weeks.

On Cutie - Age 6-1/4

Size 1 shoe (for about a year now)
Size 6 clothes. On the thin size. Still a vegetarian because she doesn't want to kill animals.
Can do a great cartwheel, split, back bend. In ice skating she can do a waltz jump, salchow, and flip.
She loves The New Yorker covers and is reading cartoons. Almost all I have to sort of explain which is hard to do when there's a lot of sex involved.
She's reading both English and Hebrew.
Piano starts next month with Synchro Intro class is over.
How did I get so lucky?

What To Do?

A friend posts a link on facebook about how hard it is to raise kids. Maybe I'm just lucky, but Cutie is the easiest job I ever had - or maybe I'm just doing it wrong or maybe I'm the best mom ever.
The question - If I put it out there what am I really saying? Right - But I'm not really saying it. Do I keep it to myself? Yes - that's proper FB etiquette.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iROYzrm5SBM

Happy New Year

Two articles I happened to read last week in the Financial Times 12/29/10 that I believe are important.
ChemChina to buy 60% stake in Israel's Makhteshim Agan Industries (MA Indsutries) for 1.4 bn. And an Op Ed article by Parag Khanna, Future shock? Welcome to the new Middle Ages.
Strong China, India, Islam spreding, Europe in crises, private mercenary armies, religious radicals - What should we plan for?
http://www.paragkhanna.com/?p=956
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE6BR0NR20101228